And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
