I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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