I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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