Can Purell be used as lube?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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