Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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