She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
