yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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