Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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