haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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