There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
