Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
