I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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