Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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