nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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