Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
