I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
