ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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