I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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