I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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