nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
