My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize