i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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