Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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