so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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