Your face is a jimmy john
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
