So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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