recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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