just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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