I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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