Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
