I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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