hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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