I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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