How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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