I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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