Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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