I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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