I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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