I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
