i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
