walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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