You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
