is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
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My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
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Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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