I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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