OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
