Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
