i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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