I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize