Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
smell my finger.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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