I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
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It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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