Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
