It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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