Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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