TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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