wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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