I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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