Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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