he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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