I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
