thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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