she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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