I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
