I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
