Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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