and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
