At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
