We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
